http://crusherofmorningstars.blogspot.com

i've been wondering for a really long while, what i do to people over a long period of time. As in, how do people change, and that's if they do when they meet me and begin to draw closer. because most of the time, people don't exit the same way they came in after they've become one of the few people who mean something to me. most of the time, the change doesn't benefit me. then we lose that something really good i had with the old you.
somebody, break that sequence before someone dies.

on a side note:

hate to say i told you so. says:
ahahahahha
hate to say i told you so. says:
you are windmill
hate to say i told you so. says:
you spin when you get blown

Joshua foo you're fucking sick.

Josh's birthday party that was unfortunately, not a surprise anymore thank you to JOEL (i don't know you, but i'm going to kill you when i get to anyway ) but it was still awesum fun and at least the birthday boy had a time of his life being caked in the face and drinking scotch.

School Invasion finale at Rgs today- Westgrand and Cardinal Av played. Awesum bands, energy-accelerated rgs girls, mad mad dancing. Saw Iliana, after 2 years since primary six and she looks so different, hardly could recognise her. before the show was running around the AIRCONDITIONED hall with colleen's IJ uniform, which later became lydia's supergirl cloak. Met Mr yap and he thought we were from the band- "so you all performing ah? waahh so cool." don't we all just miss dear mr yap? later just hung in the Nokia bus with the rest of the invasion people, gave braceboy and roslan their message in a bottle and syed his drumsticks, with compliments from the street team. Winnie baked amazingly cute halloween cupcakes for the bands and us, it was practically covered in icing sugar, much thanks for the sweets hun. After the usual crowd in the bus, we went to wheelock for sushi and an entertaining lunch. Vegetable sushi, Ben?

For now it's time to finish my math bridging course homework. quadratic equations. nightmare. luckily enough the course will be over tomorrow. glass markers are major fun. been doodling alloveer my room wherever there's glass. for once mommy doesn't mind :D

JOSHUA PAULLY SIOW, HAPPY 19TH BOI.
my bestfriend, my (ex)boyfriend, my everything
thank you for all the colour, laughs and sunsets, all the crap and wonders you have bestowed upon me.
hope you have a nice birthday, and i absolutely cannot wait for tomorrow.

these days have made me weak, worn me down to the bone
and i can't tell anybody, not nobody will understand
"being next to him is like being in a simulation of constant motion blur"
and what i mean when i wonder if i'm hugging him too much?
nothing has changed, but you give me heartattacks over and on repeat
when you, accidentally, kiss my head.
you've been gone too long, my cold hands can hardly reach your face
you're half gone, and we're both too young to ignite the sparks
though i only find the wonders when you're beside me
but i know we'll be okay,
because boy- nobody has ever made me love, die and puke laughing;
the exact same way you do.

ps. it's nice to be in your arms once in awhile

was browsing my photobucket of this year

CHEER UP SPUNK. YOU'RE THE COOLEST MAGICIAN ALIVE.
TRUE THAT DOUBLE TRUE, YAO. LOVE YOU LONG TIME KENNY.

(i have suddenly decided to become a happy girl)

THINGS TO LOOK FORWARD TO:
RGS SCHOOL INVASION (CARDINAL AV+WESTGRAND) !
SLEEPOVER AT COLLEEN'S
FRIDAY NIGHT
COLLEEN'S SLEEPOVER HERE
ACTUALLY MY WHOLE HOLIDAYS

Happy 21st my sista.

p.s. i think from this holiday onward, colleen is going to be my bestfriend :D

i'm standing here till you make me move
i'm hanging by a moment here with you

so basically,
i was waiting the entire day to talk.
but-

day eight.

i'm fine. say goodbye. no, why would i be upset? no really i'm fine. goodnight. smile. close window. routine? yes, routine. that is exactly what goes on every single night when i hear the dreadful words "i. need. to. go." go where? no you're actually where you always were, just someone better on the other side. and i'm not even talking female. and because of the fucked up reason of being a better friend than a girlfriend, i can't puke my lungs out having a screamdown while trying to convey how absolutely cold it is around here. with all the insecurity that is eating my insides and the lack of a fraction of you, i really am going to have wonderful holidays. curiosity killed the cat. remind me never to go back to your facebook, or mention a certain someone again. your defence is like a murdermob to my already paperheart, your enlightenment of a female specimen incinerates me. yes, i'm being a bitch. and the contradiction: i totally understand where you're going with this.

jump around turnaround jump swing swing zoom across the room but!
i can't stop thinking about you.
i'm not supposed to i can be hanged and be crossed off the existence list for it but i don't really give a fuck neither can i help it So! why you? i don't know really because you keep crossing my mind unexpectedly and doing triple somersaults into my heart juice splash splish splosh. explosive syndrome the idea of you has overtaken my entire being even when i don't mean to. call 991. riotboy is in daaa HAUS.

day six?
five?
whatevv.

esplanade library with colleen and deejay.

I feel like i'm losing your mind, as if my place is slipping away with time.
I don't know if i can deal with the cold, but i'll try,
pray i don't cry while you're not here to wipe it off.

day five.

In no particular order, and because i never really got to say this to you-

"this chunk is under reconstruction."

Lauralisa, says:
whenn i flirt with the movie ticket stand guy
Lauralisa, says:
HAHA
L - says:
DUDEEE
L - says:
HE WAS A GIRL
L - says:
AND WE DIDNT GET IN ANYWAYZ
L - says:
hahaha

Walking along that same old street, watching midnight skies, dreams of tomorrow, that's kind of hollow, all floating by. I see your face in my head, i see your beautiful eyes haunting me.

School is finally over.
Last night had a talk with a certain somebody i can't mention the name of about his relationship, and i realised that there's always crap in love no matter who the two people are. and awkward silences aren't just something that's wrong with me, it happens to alot of people. so, suck it up, protect your heart and continue loving. god, please give me a life. thank you very much i promise i will study hard nxt yr.

day four.

1. How old at next birthday

2. A place I want to visit.

3. My favorite place.

4. My favorite object.

5. My favorite food.

6. My favorite animal.

7. My favorite color.

8. Where I was born.

9. Where I live now.

10. Name of a past pet.

11. Name of a past love.

12. Best friend's nickname.

13. My first name.

14. My last name.

15. My worst habit.


photobucket meme, edited version of colleen's google meme

“One life, one chance, one try, to walk, to run, to cry. To dream and to take flight, to a world beyond those lies. One hope, one soul to feel, to love, to laugh and fulfill. To shout aloud and be the beauty that is me.”


here is a statement of immense need to be close to you. and i hope through that chaos and an angel on stage, you'll still think of me in the way you spent many nights telling me about on the phone. it's been 10 months since day one when you first brought back the colour and crept under my veins. lovers apart and all we can do is pray, that we'll make it back someday.

day three.

right now.
when is it ever right now?
right now as in presently, or right now as in being correct at the present moment
as in presently right now i am lying on my phone, so my ribs (the most sensitive part of my body) can feel if there is any sign of an incoming call.
do i have to dial your number first?

made my day:
i can opt for pure science although i am recommended combined
2 more school days
high school musical 3 on friday
i have good friends
martin
en-x
anton
colleen/lydia/braceboy
invasion at STC
http://www.myspace.com/enxband

ruined my day:
colleen is sad
i have school tomorrow
i am bottom level of tkgs
you're not here
0 new messages
i need to sleep soon

all that was in lip crashing, just went out in yesterday's tongue lashing

day two.

When it's all on the floor how do you get it up again? and when and if you're gone, how do i be me? do i exhaust you frustrate you anger you disappoint you make you lose hope make you cry too much to bear? maybe what you say is exactly what i've made happen. it takes me that much to notice that you could possibly be gone, and when i finally do i do everything in my capability to keep you here. i miss you i love you but maybe it's time i stopped being so fucking selfish and think about your good.

day one.